Money, the dictator.

So im fed up.  Im fed up with the fact that money, or the lack thereof will make or break someones WILL to do what they want to do.  Granted, money is a necessary evil that we all have to deal with at some point or another.  There is one thing however that money tends to do that it shouldnt, and thats inhibiting people from taking risks, and going for it.  Im writing this because this morning that happened to me, and im making a pact with myself and anyone reading this that i wont let that happen again (fingers crossed).  I got an email the other day, that a certain casting director who casts a lot of projects in my market (louisiana) is holding a workshop.  This could be HUGE for me.  When you're an "up and coming" these workshops are so valuable in networking and building relationships that can give you such an edge in the acting world.  How much different is it to walk into an audition and be able to be like "hey bob!! great to see you again! how are your kids??" than to be like "hi, my name is caleb, how are you?"  It means all the difference in the world to have a relationship in place when doing ANYTHING where a human being is the gatekeeper to your goal, and that brings up a good question in itself.  How many times are people NOT the gate keepers?  Not very often, so relationships are HUGE!!  Anyways, im sitting this casting workshop out because ill be honest, im broke at the moment.  I just put 500 dollars worth of tires on my car, bills are due, and it is literally just not in my means right now to drive to dallas for a workshop.  Welcome to being an artist.  Ive known this life for going on 4 years now between music, photography and acting, and its not like our dreams are just gonna open the door and say "hey stupid! the easy way is over here! what have you been doing over there on the hard road for the past few years!?"  I wish

so whats the answer then?  I have a credit card, so could i put the few hundred dollars it would be to make the journey and workshop? yes.  Should I?  well that is the million dollar question.  One has to ask himself a few questions.  Will i get another opportunity like this?  Will there be another workshop?  What if this workshop is the one i would have really connected at?  A million questions stream their way through my head in a situation like this.  As ive already said, the answer is, im not going.  This time.  And this is the last time im letting money control me like this.  Now are there exception to that? of course, otherwise id be putting thousands of dollars on a credit card, and thats never a good thing.  But think about it, its like 300 bucks.  Would it put me in a hard place for a few weeks? yes.  Does 300 dollars really matter in the grand scheme of my life? or even the next 2 months.  NO! its SO temporary!  And thats the take-away i think in this whole deal i think.  Everything in life, especially something as insignificant as a few hundred bucks doesnt matter in the grand scheme, whereas when the risk we are taking (obviously depending on that risk) could be the risk of a lifetime that we are turning a blind eye to.  Thats heavy.  How many times, have i decided to not take a risk, where that risk would have made a huge difference in my life?  We'll never know, but i bet its been more than once, and thats NOT something im willing to RISK.  At the end of the day when we all look back on our lives, im almost certain that we will regret the risks we didnt take, not the ones we did.

Food for thought, and id love to hear someone else's opinion! hit me if you'd like!